As They Grow, So Do We.

Jun 25

Their Milestones Become Markers of Time

My oldest daughter is graduating from Grade 9, and my youngest daughter is turning 13. On paper, these are undoubtedly milestones. Moments marked by ceremonies, birthday cakes, photos, and celebrations. But in reality, they feel like something much more. They feel like reminders of just how quickly time moves.

For years, people told me, “Enjoy it while it lasts. It goes by so fast and these are special years.”

Like many parents or caregivers, I would smile and nod. In the midst of busy schedules, school drop-offs, endless to-do lists, sleepless nights, and the everyday demands of raising children, it was difficult to appreciate what they meant and really absorb that. Of course, I knew my children would grow up. I just didn’t realize how quickly those years would pass.

Now, I do.

When the Clichés Turn Out to Be True

As a therapist, I’m reminded daily that life is full of transitions. Some arrive with excitement, others with uncertainty, and many with both. Parenting may be one of the greatest examples of this. We spend years encouraging our children to grow, be kind, become independent, and find their place in the world. Yet when those milestones arrive, we often find ourselves holding a mix of emotions that can be difficult to name.

There is pride. There is joy. There is excitement for all that lies ahead.

And sometimes, there is sadness too. Not because we want our children to stay little forever; but because every new chapter quietly closes another one. The child who once reached for your hand without hesitation now walks a few steps ahead. The bedtime stories become later bedtimes. The elementary and middle school years come to an end. Life moves forward, exactly as it should.

Their Milestones Become Markers of Time

As parents or caregivers, there can be another layer to these transitions that often goes unspoken. As our children move into new stages of life, we become increasingly aware of our own. Their milestones become markers of time, reminding us not only of how much they have grown, but how much life has unfolded around us as well.

These moments can bring a surprising mix of emotions. There may be pride, excitement, gratitude, and hope. There may also be grief, uncertainty, or a quiet awareness of how quickly the years have passed. Many parents or caregivers find themselves looking back with appreciation while simultaneously wondering what comes next for themselves.

When Their Transitions Often Become Mirrors for Our Own.

From a psychological perspective, this is a natural part of development. Life transitions invite reflection. They encourage us to reconsider our roles, our priorities, and our sense of identity. While childhood passes quickly, something beautiful emerges in its place: we get a front-row seat to the people our children are becoming. And in many ways, we are still becoming too.

Holding Gratitude and Nostalgia at the Same Time

So, as I celebrate a graduation and a 13th birthday this month, I’m holding both gratitude and nostalgia. I’m allowing myself to feel proud, excited, sentimental, and hopeful all at once. All the feels.

And perhaps that’s the lesson in these milestones: we don’t have to choose between missing what was and embracing what’s next. We can do both. They can exist at the same time.

After all, the goal was never to keep them little.

The goal was always to help them grow. And if we’re lucky, we grow right alongside them.

Today’s gentle reminder: if someone you love is on your mind, reach out. Life moves quickly, and the moments that matter most are often the ones we choose to be fully present for.