Choosing Hope

Paige Switzer, R.Psych.

Hope, to me, feels like a pretty tricky word these days.  Politically, financially, environmentally, socially, individually, globally… I know the world has seen dire times throughout history, which, I think, is supposed to provide some comfort (we’ve weathered hard times before, right?) and I also can’t help but feel particularly hopeless when I read a news article about any single one of these factors, let alone their mass intersections and exacerbations, in addition to every other nuanced individual challenge that I may face in a day, week, or month.  It feels like a lot.  Being a human on this planet feels like a lot.  Whatever it is for you, it’s valid.

So, you may be asking, how, in the face of such intense individual and collective struggle, can we choose hope?  How can we choose hope when what we need is policy, justice, and meaningful action?  Well, in true homage to the human experience, it is complicated. It is complicated because choosing hope is not a once and done deal.  Everyday is different.  Every second holds the potential for new and immeasurable pain, dread, and hardship.  Every second also holds the potential for beauty, joy, love, and connection beyond our dreams.  Which means that choosing hope is less of a single choice, and more of a series of decisions made over and over again.  In any given moment, we have the option to try again to choose hope.  Shall we try it?  Below is just one possible pathway to choosing hope.

I will invite you to feel into a challenging moment in your life. It could be anything (maybe don’t pick something super intense for a first try): you read an upsetting news article, got a flat tire, had a panic attack, rent increased, couldn’t sleep, discovered your favorite tree got cut down.

Now, go through the following steps, one at a time and as slowly as you can:

1.     Notice the sensations arising as you reflect on this difficult moment.  Perhaps your heart is beating differently, or there are feelings arising in your stomach/chest/throat, maybe you have thoughts accompanying the moment you are reflecting on.  Notice how you are noticing your experience.

2.     Observe yourself for a moment as if you were watching or feeling someone else.  This helps garner more space from the intensity of our own individual experience.

3.     As you do that, invite the possibility that someone else truly is or has experienced what you are experiencing in this very moment.  Someone in your city, or country, or someone across the world is very likely experiencing what you are experiencing right now.  Notice what happens when you play with that possibility – maybe you feel compassion for that other person, or anger that a fellow human knows this discomfort too and should not have to.  You are not alone, for even just a moment.  And while that does not necessarily “fix” anything, it does make it different, and that matters. 

4.     As you hold this other person and their struggle in your heart and mind, offer them something that could make a 5% difference to their experience.  This might be a few deep breaths, a reminder not to skip to the end of the story, some dark humor, making and eating a sandwich, a nervous system soothing exercise, watering your plants, sitting outside for a few minutes, or giving your pet a snuggle.  Again, this will not necessary fix anything, but it changes things.

You may have noticed that at no point through this process do you need to focus on forcing yourself to feel better, or to feel hopeful.  Choosing hope looks a lot like choosing something different in the face of insurmountable overwhelm.  Hope and imagination are deeply intertwined.  When we choose differently, we are allowing our imagination to invoke a different outcome, even if it does not feel particularly hopeful, that is still hope.