Back-to-School, Big Feelings: Supporting Your Child's Mental Health as Summer Ends
As summer begins to wind down, families everywhere start shifting their attention towards a new school year. There are backpacks to organize, school supplies to buy, schedules to figure out, and all the little details that come with getting back into routine. But amidst the list and logistics, there’s another kind of preparation that can sometimes get overlooked: preparing our children emotionally and mentally for the transition back to school.
This year, I’m experiencing that transition in my own family. My youngest is heading into grade 8, while my oldest is starting her first year of high school. A milestone that brings new routines, new expectations, new friendships, and, in our case, even figuring out new bus routes and transit.
A return to school is a big shift in routine, and it’s completely normal for children to experience a mix of emotions along the way. They may feel excited to see friends, meet a new teacher, or have a fresh start, while also feeling nervous about new classrooms, academic expectations, social situations, or simply leaving the comfort of summer behind. Research suggests that transitions can be a source of stress for children, particularly when routines and environments change (Canadian Paediatric Society, 2020). Recognizing these emotions as a normal part of adjustment can help parents respond with empathy rather than concern. There’s no “right” way to feel about a new school year. What matters is creating space for those feelings, listening with compassion, and letting your child know that whatever they are feeling is ok.
One of the most effective ways to support your child is by creating space for open, judgment-free conversations. Instead of asking questions that encourage a simple "yes" or "no" response, try asking, "How are you feeling about going back to school?" or "Is there anything you're excited or worried about?" Listening without immediately trying to solve every problem helps children feel heard and validated. According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), validating children's emotions strengthens emotional resilience and encourages healthy coping skills.
Another gentle way to make the transition a little easier is to slowly begin bringing some routines back into your days. Summer means later nights, slower morning, flexible mealtimes, and a little more freedom; and there’s nothing wrong with that. As school gets closer, gradually shifting bedtimes, wake-up times, and daily rhythms can help children (and parents!) ease back into the structure of the school year. Predictable routines help children feel secure because they reduce uncertainty and create consistency during periods of change (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2023). Even small changes can help the first day of school feel a little less like a sudden shift and a little more familiar.
In the middle of all this change, it’s worth remembering just how important sleep can be. A good night’s sleep can make a difference in how children feel, cope, and navigate the day. Adequate sleep supports learning, memory, emotional regulation, attention, and overall mental well-being. School-aged children generally need between 9 and 12 hours of sleep each night, while teenagers require 8 to 10 hours (Canadian Paediatric Society, 2024). As routines begin to shift, gently getting back to a consistent sleep schedule can be one simple way to help both their bodies and minds feel better for what’s ahead.
Our children often take their cues from us, especially when something feels new or uncertain. Rather than trying to talk them out of their worries, we can acknowledge them with compassion and remind them that they don’t have to figure out everything on their own. Instead of saying, “there's nothing to worry about," we might say, "It's okay to feel nervous about something new. We'll figure it out together."
For children who find transitions especially challenging, a little preparation can go a long way. Visiting the school, talking through what to expect, or practicing the new routine, or connecting with teachers can reduce uncertainty and build familiarity, and make the unfamiliar feel a little more familiar. Research shows that gradual exposure to new situations helps reduce anxiety by increasing confidence and predictability (Anxiety Canada, n.d.).
And remember, settling into a new routine takes time. The first few weeks may bring some extra tiredness, big feelings, or a little more need for reassurance, and that’s ok. Keep checking in, celebrate the small wins, and give your child some space to simply unwind and be themselves after a busy day, and make space for the things that help your child feel good. Physical activity alone has been shown to improve mood, reduce stress, and support children's mental health (World Health Organization, 2020).
As we get ready for another school year, let’s remember that our children don’t need us to have all the answers. They need to know that their feeling’s matter, they are seen, that we’re listening, and that they don’t have to navigate the ups and downs alone. Sometimes, simply knowing, “we’ll figure it out together”, is exactly what they need.
References
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2023). Back-to-school tips for families.https://www.healthychildren.org
Anxiety Canada. (n.d.). Helping children cope with anxiety.https://www.anxietycanada.com
Canadian Paediatric Society. (2020). Supporting children's mental health.https://cps.ca
Canadian Paediatric Society. (2024). Healthy sleep for children and youth.https://cps.ca
Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. (n.d.). Child and youth mental health resources.https://www.camh.ca
World Health Organization. (2020). Guidelines on physical activity and sedentary behaviour.https://www.who.int
Rebecca Pink
Registered Provisional Psychologist
